What Love Could Really Means

 

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Saturday Afternoon at Arcadia Arboretum

Even after all this time the Sun never says to the Earth,”You owe me.”  Look what happens
with a love like that, it lights the whole sky.”  Hafiz

 

I am beginning to understand
I think, maybe
What love could mean

It is that warm fuzzy feeling in me
When I let my mind wanders
And thinks about million things at once

It is when I see a star at the dawn of day
Thinking and wondering if it is real 
Or it is just a trick my eyes decide to play on me

Sometimes, when what I want most
Is to spend time with the sun
Basking in its glory and majesty

Or it is when I am humming a love song
Thinking that it's so cheesy
But do it anyway

I am beginning to understand
Whatever meaning we give to love
Could it really be?

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Serendipity?

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Sunset at Jimbaran Bay, Bali, Indonesia

Last day of the year today, seems different from all last days few years back. I am not the sentimental type, but certainly something is not the same. Trying to figure it out is like pressing the play button on my memory bank of past events.

Dancing through, down the waltz of memory lane is like watching a movie on a winter night. The absence of identification to any of all those scenes feels so real, sending a tingle of wonder down the spine and up above.

Yet, it numbs the entire of me, it is like I am there watching, without sensation, without any senses. At awe, stupefied.

Things come and go, people come and go, marking each day with their presence. Sometimes what remains is just a distance memory. Things happen, things change, people change, we change. And suddenly the scribbles on my notes are no more.

What we deem important today, it might mean nothing tomorrow. What we love today, we might be willing to be part with the next day. Stranger becomes lover and lover turns to stranger.

Life is predictably full of surprises and changes are written all over the fabric of our hearts. Most of the time, we refuse to see them. We ignore them, until they hurt too much.

Old friends drift apart, new friendships blossom. What do we get to say about that when disappointment is the byproduct of unmeet expectation? And it is a blessing when true friendship triumphs.

When failure and sorrow make us a better person, it can break us too. What differentiates the two is only a choice away. And the choice is ours.

I can go on and on and on but soon the new day will come, brings with it a new year, a new hope and a new reclamation.

Let us all embrace whatever comes our way, no serendipity is too real and let’s hold on to love.

As Everything Flows

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Behind the veils intoxicated with love, I too dance the rhythm of this moving world”         -RUMI

 

When the night falls

In the absence of the bustling of life

Stillness pervades

But yet something is flowing

As boundaries begin to vanish

Fabricating into matrix of existence

And when the ground disintegrates

Crumbling into million of pieces

I think I see the moon

But maybe only its reflection

Dancing on the face of the water

Summoning whoever passing by

When the light begins to dim

Hanging to its one last breath

Darkness creeps in, compelling it to cave in

Everything turns black

And as everything flows

So it is

Surrender

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When you do things from your soul, you feel a river moving in you, a joy. – Rumi-

 

Only today I know what surrendering feels like for me. I used to think that to surrender is to believe that whatever happens is for the best. Leave it at that and move on, next.

And not until I am faced with great difficulty, only then I come to realize that I haven’t been doing any surrendering at all. All I did was to take the easy way out and hoping that it would turn out the best it could.

I was somehow taking life for granted, did what I thought was right and made decision based on what I liked and disliked. I was so much in control. Only later that I became conscious of the fact that to surrender, it requires the absence of control.

To surrender, we have to let go of the driver seat to life, sit on the passenger seat and enjoy the ride, like it or not, we have to learn how to bask in the view in front of us. The bump, the crash, the smash into, the run into as well as the charm, the magnificence, the loveliness and the blessing.

When we start to glide with life, the right thing and the right people start to appear in our life. For me, it was my attraction to take the iRest Yoga Nidra training. At least two things I learned from the course if not too many, to allow and to welcome every single thing and every single person who comes our way. And every single situation in our life. Be it hard, easy, impossible or enjoyable.

And yet, I was not there yet. I long to be in that state of complete surrender and I know something was still missing. There was still something I did not get. I have been practicing the allowing and welcoming, day and night, everyday.

And one day, which is today, I feel something so surreal, it was unearthly. But I know this is what absolute surrender feels like. It is the shiver running through my body, the tingling, the buzzing, radiantly shining out and in, up and down, front and back.  It is like I finally let go of myself and just be.

 

It is just like what Rumi said: “ When you do things from your soul, you feel a river moving in you, a joy.