I Am a Peacock Today

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A gorgeous splashy watercolor painting by artist Dean Crouser

I refuse to be a puppet today
Nor a victim of the bad-mannered
I choose to open my heart
Although it is broken
Notwithstanding the fact
That I am hurting

I am a lotus today
Growing from the mud
Welcoming the sun
To shine on me
So I can bloom
And make the mud proud

I refuse to become bitter today
No matter what
I choose to see the beauty
Although sullenness is all I have
Guarding myself
From being swallowed alive

I am a peacock today
Having a solitary day
Basking from on top of the roof
Watching life goes by
Dreaming of one day to fly far away
But I am a peacock today

I refuse to become smaller today
While all around me is forcing me to
I choose to keep on expanding
Where space is illusion
And periphery is unseen
Center is disappearing

I am the moon tonight
Never fail to show up
Sometimes the clouds envelope me
With their ever soft shadow
But I am here every night
Paying my homage

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Through a glass, darkly

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Standing near the window; covered with dark glass.
Glimpses and blurred images of what’s inside.
Meanwhile; the world outside is beckoning.
Enticing the senses with colors, fragrance, sunny days, breeze.
I want to see what’s inside, but I also want run to the world outside.

Standing near the window; covered with dark glass.
Glimpses and blurred images of what’s inside.
Icy winter days and it’s storming outside.
The world is grey, freezing, numbing, cold.
I want to see what’s inside, there’s nothing to see outside.

Standing near the window; covered with dark glass.
Rubbed clean the glass from the outside, clearer glimpse of what’s inside.
Inside feels like home, cozy fireplace and a warm cup of tea.
It’s spring and the world is again full of colors, sunlight, fragrance.
I want to come in to the unchanging inside, the outside changes all the time.

Standing near the window; covered with dark glass.
Been looking inside for so long my sight adjusted to the dark.
Now I notice there’s someone inside, looking back at me.
Calling out to me, showing me the way in, there’s a door I didn’t see all this while.
I opened the door and come inside;

I’m home.

Note: I knew the phrase “Through a glass, darkly” from Jostein Gaarder’s book title. Only much later I found out that it is a biblical phrase from 1 Corinthians 13:12. (KJV: For now we see through a glass, darkly; but then face to face: now I know in part; but then shall I know even as also I am known.)

This is one of my first attempt writing something that resembles poetry, originally posted on my blog 

Image credit: Shelby U