I Am a Peacock Today


A gorgeous splashy watercolor painting by artist Dean Crouser

I refuse to be a puppet today
Nor a victim of the bad-mannered
I choose to open my heart
Although it is broken
Notwithstanding the fact
That I am hurting

I am a lotus today
Growing from the mud
Welcoming the sun
To shine on me
So I can bloom
And make the mud proud

I refuse to become bitter today
No matter what
I choose to see the beauty
Although sullenness is all I have
Guarding myself
From being swallowed alive

I am a peacock today
Having a solitary day
Basking from on top of the roof
Watching life goes by
Dreaming of one day to fly far away
But I am a peacock today

I refuse to become smaller today
While all around me is forcing me to
I choose to keep on expanding
Where space is illusion
And periphery is unseen
Center is disappearing

I am the moon tonight
Never fail to show up
Sometimes the clouds envelope me
With their ever soft shadow
But I am here every night
Paying my homage




A reflection of darkness in down under, an almost evening sky in Jakarta

How does a part of the world leave the world? How can wetness leave water?  RUMI


I went under
Deeper than I’ve been
Made a deal with darkness
To see what the shadows would cast

The darkness asked
If I was sure
If I really wanted to see
And I said yes

As I faced my fear and felt my pain
That was when I met the dark side of me
As I shook hands with it
The bitterness lingered

Not knowing how to end it
I did what I thought was best
I indulged it, welcomed it
I owned it

Almost at the end, down under
At the brink of despair
I felt something very familiar
It was pain that belongs to all of us

Breaking down
I wept for me
I wept for you
I wept for us

Who Am I?


Love is the bridge between you and everything – Rumi


Stunning view from Sakura, New Zealand

Stunning view from Sakura, New Zealand


As we traverse the path of life we will inevitably come face to face with the big questions.

Who am I? Why am I here?

Irrespective of our backgrounds, colours, or beliefs, we human beings cannot avoid this inner dialogue; for these questions are the very purpose of our existence here. All of us. We are united in this. The search for our true selves.

If we avoid the truth of who we are, our lives present obstacles which make us take a deeper look at ourselves. Sometimes a very painful look. The harder we resist the truth of who we are, the more difficult the obstacles and the lessons become.

Some of us seek to hide our confusion, or numb it. We don’t understand why we are lost. We don’t even know that we are seeking. Sex, drugs and other addictive behavioural patterns manifest to mask the emptiness. We feel broken because we are not open or connected to the heart of ourselves. Sometimes we see glimpses, commonly in the love of another, and when that is lost or changed with time, our lives lose colour. We seek deep connection with others in the belief that the other will make us whole. We delve into practices which distract us. Work hard, play hard. We get lost in the social construct which dictates we must earn more and have more to be whole. We seek refuge in the material, as if that diamond ring has the power to heal our soul.

We look for answers externally but there they hide from us. It is as though we are continually playing a game of hide and seek, only ever having fleeting glimpses of that which the soul seeks most.

Who am I? What is my reason for being?

Some of us will ask these questions earlier in life and some will only ask in the final hour.

Who am I? What is the purpose of life?

If we are curious enough, ready enough, and brave enough we will allow the questions to unfurl our inner landscape. We will begin climbing the mountain that is our destiny.

And this path will be the most beautiful path of all our existence.

The path of our own understanding.

That is not to say that it is an easy path, this path of deep self introspection. Truth often comes with a bite. At times it may rip the fabric of your being, break your heart, shatter you. But in that brokeness you will discover what it is to be open, and in turn what it is to be whole again.

Who am I? Why do I exist?

Although the enquiry is analytical, the answer to the mystery is seldom presented by the analytical mind. This in itself is hard to grasp and can be a source of great suffering and confusion. The mind that is grappling for answers. The mind that is filled with ideas, ideologies and conditioned thoughts and responses. This mind is the catalyst for our great discovery but it is not where the answers lie. Rather, we must unlearn everything that we have come to know in this life. We must let go of thought. In the great unlearning we surrender all, we find our way home.

Who am I ?

The answers on the path of understanding come out of nothing, they are born out of stillness. To find them we must go within.

They stream from a consciousness that unites us all. A consciousness that breathes us.

Who am I ? Who are you?

The answers lie in presence, in quiet contemplation. The answers arise when the mind is still and at peace, and the heart is open.

As we learn to cultivate this stillness within, dance with it, play with it, as we did naturally when we were children, we will come to know the truth of who we are. We cannot avoid it.

And in those moments, suspended in timelessness, all questions dissolve into the mystery. And we not only see truth, we experience truth.


In those moments we are born into a love that is so profound, it is indescribable in words.

As Rumi said: It is a love that is a bridge between you and everything.

It is infinite. It knows no separation and no boundaries. It is the love that creates all things. It is you and it is me.

It is the ferociousness of a hurricane, and the grace of a dolphin’s dance. It is the shimmer of water and the sound of birdsong. It is where the rainbow meets the land, and where the clouds float on chariots in the sky of your imagination. It is the beautiful dance of intimacy between lovers. The sacredness of a rose. The kind words of friends. It sits in the wisdom of old age and laughs with our ancestors.

You can find it in the depths of the oceans and in a child’s eyes. It is all pervasive.

Everywhere and Everything.

And when you fully realise the beauty of you, you will never ever question again the beauty of another.

You will never again seek sanctuary in anyone, except for yourself. Because you will profoundly understand that you are enough. So much more than enough.

You will no longer seek to judge another either, because you will know their essence is your essence. You will have great compassion and forgiveness for yourself, and in so doing you will pass that compassion to others.

And so in this way when you invest in the discovery and healing of yourself, you are automatically invested in the healing of others. You are also invested in the healing of all that is the earth and on the earth.

Your path of discovery, is not just for you, it is for all of us. It is the greatest gift you can give to yourself and to the world.

The bridge between you and everything.

Who are you ?


“beautiful piece by Gwen Bryce, you can reach her at bbryce643@gmail.com”