A reflection of darkness in down under, an almost evening sky in Jakarta

How does a part of the world leave the world? How can wetness leave water?  RUMI


I went under
Deeper than I’ve been
Made a deal with darkness
To see what the shadows would cast

The darkness asked
If I was sure
If I really wanted to see
And I said yes

As I faced my fear and felt my pain
That was when I met the dark side of me
As I shook hands with it
The bitterness lingered

Not knowing how to end it
I did what I thought was best
I indulged it, welcomed it
I owned it

Almost at the end, down under
At the brink of despair
I felt something very familiar
It was pain that belongs to all of us

Breaking down
I wept for me
I wept for you
I wept for us




Pantai Air Manis, Padang. 2012

Have you ever felt that you are seeking something?

That something is missing in your life, and you can’t really put your finger to it, or define what is it that is missing? You just know that there’s got to be something more than this.

You try to fill that gap with many things.

First you try to fill it with material things. Stuffs. Cars. Bags. Branded clothes. Gadgets. Etc. But material things doesn’t make that gap go away.

And then you try to fill it with non-material things. Relationships. Achievements. Career. Holidays. Power. Status. But non-material things doesn’t make that gap go away.

And then you try to fill it with even more subtle things. You seek knowledge. Read  books. Study ancient and current wisdoms. Perhaps devote yourself to a religion. Or maybe practice spirituality. Yet these subtle things doesn’t make that gap go away.



You are complete. You are whole. You are already perfect.

You just forgotten that you are whole. You are suffering from delusion. Delusion that you are separated. That there is a gap.

You are already whole. You don’t need anything from outside. You just forgotten.

And all those wisdom, books, teachers, rituals… are reminders. To help you remember.

To help you remember that you are whole.

In Alan Watts’ words:

“You’re it.”

What Love Could Really Means



Saturday Afternoon at Arcadia Arboretum

Even after all this time the Sun never says to the Earth,”You owe me.”  Look what happens
with a love like that, it lights the whole sky.”  Hafiz


I am beginning to understand
I think, maybe
What love could mean

It is that warm fuzzy feeling in me
When I let my mind wanders
And thinks about million things at once

It is when I see a star at the dawn of day
Thinking and wondering if it is real 
Or it is just a trick my eyes decide to play on me

Sometimes, when what I want most
Is to spend time with the sun
Basking in its glory and majesty

Or it is when I am humming a love song
Thinking that it's so cheesy
But do it anyway

I am beginning to understand
Whatever meaning we give to love
Could it really be?

Nature of Mind


The Knower & The Known by Fabrizio Cassetta


This is my notes from a talk by Tenzin Palmo.

Everything is perceived through the sense organs, caught by consciousness, and interpreted by the mind. In other words, everything we experience is in the mind.

There are two aspects of the mind. First, the known. The known covers memories, thoughts, feelings, emotions. The second is the knower, the part of the mind that knows, but not involved. A.k.a the observer, witness, or awareness.

The known is like movie. Light projects through individual thought frames to the screen continuously, moment to moment. The problem starts when we identify ourself with the movie at the screen, we believe that is us. This fundamental delusion and misidentification causes suffering.

The knower is vast, spacious, peaceful, clear, infinite. Like the blue sky. It is always there, but often hidden by the clouds. And because the clouds are so thick and never cleared up, we forgot that above the cloud there’s blue sky.

To cease suffering, start identifying with the knower and stop identifying with the known.

How? By taking a step back, and just watch the known passes through, without judging, without like or dislike, just simply watching. Have space in our life to just be, sit, and use the mind to look at the mind.

This is a form of meditation. Where we just become still and observe the fluctuations of the mind.

The knower watching the known.



Pillars of a Good Life


There are four pillars of life. When they are all well developed and well balanced, life is good. When they are underdeveloped, life is probably not so good. Whey they are not balanced, if one aspect is much more highly developed than each other, maybe life is pretty good, but not as good as it potentially can be.

The pillars are:

  1. Health
  2. Ethical life
  3. A method to quieten the mind (eg meditation)
  4. Framework, knowledge, purpose

We’ll look a bit deeper into each one.

It’s pretty obvious that life is better when we’re healthy. We can enjoy life. We can interact with life. We are at ease with ourself, without dis-ease. So staying healthy is one of the most valuable investment for ourself. How do we stay healthy? Basically feed the body with good nutrition, enough movements to stimulate the body & organs, and enough rest.

Ethical life means leading life according to ethics and moral values. Most of the religion’s moral values are similar in some way. Yoga have the yamas & niyamas. Siddharta Gautama taught the eight noble path. Christian have the ten commandments. And so on. The moral values boil down to ‘Don’t do unto others what you don’t want others to do unto you.’ When one lead a life ethically, it will contribute to the next pillar – a quiet mind.

A quiet mind means a mind that is aware of it’s own fluctuations, and not getting carried away by the fluctuations. One of the method is through meditation. In meditation we train the mind to stay with one anchor for a period of time. Through practice we develop the endurance to sustain this focus for longer and longer. And the longer we can stay there, the quieter the mind become.

When the mind is sufficiently quietened down, there’s a sense of direction that comes from within. Perhaps at the beginning we can’t pinpoint or detail which direction does it want to go – but usually we can tell if the direction is wrong. If we are receptive and open we’ll find many teachers and lessons in our lives that provide you with knowledge. With this knowledge we develop framework, like a map. With a framework we know where we are, why we are here, and where we are going. And slowly find the answer to the perennial question “Who am I?”


Based on a talk by my yoga philosophy teacher Swami Pujan

Image: Rio-Antirio bridge by Spiros Vathis


Love Affair Between A Bird And A Lotus

2016-02-25 08.52.14

Jakarta, a photograph by Andi Imamayanti

Oblivious to the existence of each other
Yet the attraction is so alluring
Two entirely different things
Yet seems to fill each other in

Million others bustling around 
As if trying to distract them
From what is
From what it isn't

The smoke-filled air
As grey as it can get
As if trying to camouflage itself
To hide the charm it once had

When the ray of sun glowing
Sending warmth and as if reminding
Of its never broken promise
Undying love like no other

One afternoon
One love affair
As transient as it is honest
Between a bird and a lotus


Cloudless Sky


Samawa Beach, Indonesia, a photograph by Ayda Sulianti

What gives form to the world, has no form of its own. – Rumi-


It’s been few hours

Since I watched the sun rising

But the sky remains cloudless


Wonder how it feels like

Up there, looking down

So close yet never be


Has the sky plotting against us

In the game of hide and seek

With nothing to look for


It reminds me of that day

When the weight of hopelessness

Trembled me to the bone


The only way was to sink

Like a cruise liner

Sent down to the heart of the ocean


Oblivious to the commotion

In the absence of judgment

The sky was cloudless


2015-12-18 00.14.58

Sunset at Jimbaran Bay, Bali, Indonesia

Last day of the year today, seems different from all last days few years back. I am not the sentimental type, but certainly something is not the same. Trying to figure it out is like pressing the play button on my memory bank of past events.

Dancing through, down the waltz of memory lane is like watching a movie on a winter night. The absence of identification to any of all those scenes feels so real, sending a tingle of wonder down the spine and up above.

Yet, it numbs the entire of me, it is like I am there watching, without sensation, without any senses. At awe, stupefied.

Things come and go, people come and go, marking each day with their presence. Sometimes what remains is just a distance memory. Things happen, things change, people change, we change. And suddenly the scribbles on my notes are no more.

What we deem important today, it might mean nothing tomorrow. What we love today, we might be willing to be part with the next day. Stranger becomes lover and lover turns to stranger.

Life is predictably full of surprises and changes are written all over the fabric of our hearts. Most of the time, we refuse to see them. We ignore them, until they hurt too much.

Old friends drift apart, new friendships blossom. What do we get to say about that when disappointment is the byproduct of unmeet expectation? And it is a blessing when true friendship triumphs.

When failure and sorrow make us a better person, it can break us too. What differentiates the two is only a choice away. And the choice is ours.

I can go on and on and on but soon the new day will come, brings with it a new year, a new hope and a new reclamation.

Let us all embrace whatever comes our way, no serendipity is too real and let’s hold on to love.

Who Am I?


Love is the bridge between you and everything – Rumi


Stunning view from Sakura, New Zealand

Stunning view from Sakura, New Zealand


As we traverse the path of life we will inevitably come face to face with the big questions.

Who am I? Why am I here?

Irrespective of our backgrounds, colours, or beliefs, we human beings cannot avoid this inner dialogue; for these questions are the very purpose of our existence here. All of us. We are united in this. The search for our true selves.

If we avoid the truth of who we are, our lives present obstacles which make us take a deeper look at ourselves. Sometimes a very painful look. The harder we resist the truth of who we are, the more difficult the obstacles and the lessons become.

Some of us seek to hide our confusion, or numb it. We don’t understand why we are lost. We don’t even know that we are seeking. Sex, drugs and other addictive behavioural patterns manifest to mask the emptiness. We feel broken because we are not open or connected to the heart of ourselves. Sometimes we see glimpses, commonly in the love of another, and when that is lost or changed with time, our lives lose colour. We seek deep connection with others in the belief that the other will make us whole. We delve into practices which distract us. Work hard, play hard. We get lost in the social construct which dictates we must earn more and have more to be whole. We seek refuge in the material, as if that diamond ring has the power to heal our soul.

We look for answers externally but there they hide from us. It is as though we are continually playing a game of hide and seek, only ever having fleeting glimpses of that which the soul seeks most.

Who am I? What is my reason for being?

Some of us will ask these questions earlier in life and some will only ask in the final hour.

Who am I? What is the purpose of life?

If we are curious enough, ready enough, and brave enough we will allow the questions to unfurl our inner landscape. We will begin climbing the mountain that is our destiny.

And this path will be the most beautiful path of all our existence.

The path of our own understanding.

That is not to say that it is an easy path, this path of deep self introspection. Truth often comes with a bite. At times it may rip the fabric of your being, break your heart, shatter you. But in that brokeness you will discover what it is to be open, and in turn what it is to be whole again.

Who am I? Why do I exist?

Although the enquiry is analytical, the answer to the mystery is seldom presented by the analytical mind. This in itself is hard to grasp and can be a source of great suffering and confusion. The mind that is grappling for answers. The mind that is filled with ideas, ideologies and conditioned thoughts and responses. This mind is the catalyst for our great discovery but it is not where the answers lie. Rather, we must unlearn everything that we have come to know in this life. We must let go of thought. In the great unlearning we surrender all, we find our way home.

Who am I ?

The answers on the path of understanding come out of nothing, they are born out of stillness. To find them we must go within.

They stream from a consciousness that unites us all. A consciousness that breathes us.

Who am I ? Who are you?

The answers lie in presence, in quiet contemplation. The answers arise when the mind is still and at peace, and the heart is open.

As we learn to cultivate this stillness within, dance with it, play with it, as we did naturally when we were children, we will come to know the truth of who we are. We cannot avoid it.

And in those moments, suspended in timelessness, all questions dissolve into the mystery. And we not only see truth, we experience truth.


In those moments we are born into a love that is so profound, it is indescribable in words.

As Rumi said: It is a love that is a bridge between you and everything.

It is infinite. It knows no separation and no boundaries. It is the love that creates all things. It is you and it is me.

It is the ferociousness of a hurricane, and the grace of a dolphin’s dance. It is the shimmer of water and the sound of birdsong. It is where the rainbow meets the land, and where the clouds float on chariots in the sky of your imagination. It is the beautiful dance of intimacy between lovers. The sacredness of a rose. The kind words of friends. It sits in the wisdom of old age and laughs with our ancestors.

You can find it in the depths of the oceans and in a child’s eyes. It is all pervasive.

Everywhere and Everything.

And when you fully realise the beauty of you, you will never ever question again the beauty of another.

You will never again seek sanctuary in anyone, except for yourself. Because you will profoundly understand that you are enough. So much more than enough.

You will no longer seek to judge another either, because you will know their essence is your essence. You will have great compassion and forgiveness for yourself, and in so doing you will pass that compassion to others.

And so in this way when you invest in the discovery and healing of yourself, you are automatically invested in the healing of others. You are also invested in the healing of all that is the earth and on the earth.

Your path of discovery, is not just for you, it is for all of us. It is the greatest gift you can give to yourself and to the world.

The bridge between you and everything.

Who are you ?


“beautiful piece by Gwen Bryce, you can reach her at bbryce643@gmail.com”